Come Boldly

Hebrews 4:16 KJV
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

I decided a long time ago that I was going to eliminate any Christian cliches that I was not able to support with scripture. Most of these little southern sayings are harmless such as, "chunk 'em and dunk 'em." (That's the only one I could come up with. Give me a break, it's early.)

Occasionally however, there are cliches that directly conflict with what the word of God teaches. One such is "inviting Jesus into our presence." The Bible teaches us over and over again in verses like this that God is always with us:

Matthew 28:20b NLT
"And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 18:20 KJV
"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

It may seem harmless, but I wonder what impression an unbeliever or someone who, like me as a teenager, is new to studying the Bible gets from these "harmless" cliches.

To try to fit in as quickly as possible, I imitated all these Sunday School phrases as quickly as possible and used them whenever I had the chance. That is until I was completely embarrassed several years ago when my pastor mentioned one in a sermon that I had used boldly and quite publicly as I usually do everything I do that is even slightly embarrassing. (I promise I am much more level headed and sophisticated when I am alone.)

I heard this, "come boldly before the throne of God" said so eloquently in prayer yesterday and thought to myself, "oh, how I hope this one is in there somewhere." I was pleased to come across it this morning in my Bible study along with lots of personal needs that reminded me that my God is watching me and loves me even when I'm acting like me. I am studying Hebrews and this is my 3rd time through in 2 weeks. This is the first time i noticed this verse. I wonder so often how God has patience for me, but he does. Patience and endless love. So...

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16 KJV

10 years- Times flies when you're having fun!

I have had in my mind to post this for quite a while and wanted to do it on Friday which is the 10 year anniversary of the day I married the man of my dreams.  However, since I know the next few days are going to be crazy and include a little romantic get-away with said man of dreams, AND the kids actually took a nap today (are you noticing a trend here in the nap to blog ratio? I am.), I decided to go on and do it today.

I talk about my husband all the time.  As much as people will let me without literally rolling their eyes so hard that they fall out of their chair- you know who you are.  I had one of my... I am taking a literal pause because I don't know what to call the guys in my Sunday School class that I "teach." I learn as much from them as they accidentally and by the grace of God learn from me... hmmm... Well, one of those of the female variety asked me with accusation in her voice if he really was as wonderful as I say he is "ALL THE TIME", and the answer is, "YES!"  Sorry for those of you who are throwing up now. Those who are starting to hate on me... I'm sorry. I didn't do anything to deserve it.  I don't know why I was chosen to get to be his wife, but I am so glad and humbled that I was.  I think it is because my mother-in-law is so great- I know! Now I have even more of you angry.  I better move on.

I really started thinking about writing this post when following our Girls' Bible Study one night a friend of mine texted and asked how I knew he was, "the one."  Here is what I told her... in way more words :)

About a 2 years after we started dating, ICC- winter 2001

#1- He was who he was ALL THE TIME.  That blew my mind.  At the time I felt surrounded by people who played different roles depending on the situation, and I would be lying to you if I told you I was any different.  I thought that was just how things worked.  They/I talked, acted, and made decisions based on who was around, who would find out, or whether or not you would get in trouble. I justified it by several things whether it be not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or make them uncomfortable to "don't ask don't tell" to "what they don't know won't hurt them." He wasn't self-righteous (see below) or abrasive, just Brandon.  Sweet yet mean, funny Brandon.
I have learned that the word to pin on this is he was a man (yes, at age 16) of INTEGRITY and it drew me to him long before I was interested in him romantically. He still is.

#2- He's cute.  I mean, have you seen him? And he is hilarious... in a mean, sarcastic, too-smart-so-I-don't-get-it-until-the-next-day kind of way.

#3- He has been the spiritual leader of our relationship since before there was one.  The whole reason we started dating was because I needed a ride to church.  He added me to his route- he was already picking up a few others.  I just happened to be dropped off last every time even though looking back it added quite a few miles to his trip to do it that way... oh, to be young and stupid...

#4- He had a relationship with God unlike any I had experienced.  We hear in churches all the time now how Christianity is about having a relationship and not a religion. It was not like that way on back in 1998. My experience with church was that you had a standard you were expected to meet. A quota of sorts.  I was so confused by it all and he made it simple.  When he talked about God (and he did quite often), he talked about Him the way you do a real person. That blew my mind. Again, something we hear in every contemporary Christian song and practically every sermon these days, but it made me stop cold in my tracks and really look at my "relationship" with God or lack there of.  And this is when I was still dating someone else.  Now, to be fair, I will say that it wasn't just Brandon that caused that, God was showing Himself to me in lots of awesome and intimate ways (yes, even I have secrets and personal space believe it or not!), but Brandon was my favorite.

#5- He has protected me in every way possible. Spiritually, physically, emotionally... I am in tears thinking of how much stress and praying for me I am sure I don't even know about because he is such an awesome protector. If you don't know me well, then I might need to tell you that I am a very independent and... strong-willed woman- to be polite. I did not take kindly to this when we first started dating, when we were first married, during my time in graduate school, when we first had children, for the last few years, or last month when we were looking at houses and I threw a little hissy fit (yes, I am from Mississippi) when he didn't do things the way I wanted because, "He didn't have a good feeling about it."
As a matter of fact, he probably has no idea how much I recognize and appreciate the way he protects me and our sweet family judging by the way I act. I do.  I need it in spite of myself and am grateful that burden does not fall on my shoulders.  I would not carry it so well.
He started this early on- asking permission from my parents if we were going to be out late instead of having me do it, letting me know quite awkwardly and embarrassingly BEFORE our third date that he had made a promise to God to be a man of purity what that meant for our physical relationship- a night that I still giggle at when I think about and am forever grateful for, not telling me how crazy he thought I was acting until I figured it out for myself.  He made and still makes me feel safe.

#6- He cares about what I care about.  He doesn't just listen when I talk (see below), he truly becomes just as compassionate about said topic as I am!  More so sometimes.  There have been times when I want to just call it quits because I am tired or bored or whatever, and he won't let it go! I wish I could say the same. I have tried for the life of me to like Arturo Sandoval, Wynton Marsalis (I had to look up and correct my spelling on both of those!), or who-ever else he is saying, "Gah-lee" at on YouTube and the best I can muster is a polite smile. How does he put up with me?!

#7- He listens when I talk... and I talk a lot.  God love the man, I wonder constantly how he keeps up.  I am a crazy person with circular logic and warp-speed articulation.  Even still, he makes me feel as if I am on stage holding a microphone under spotlight.  He makes his world stop to just listen to me. And what is crazy is that most of the time I am just rambling incoherently about something insignificant and he has a million things to do.  I love this man!

#8- He is so humble.  I think, if you can't already tell, that he is one of the most amazing people God has ever created.  He is smart (like super smart, like I think I am pretty smart, and he makes me feel like I need a new processor or at least some more RAM), hilarious, an amazing musician, and have I mentioned he is cute!! He does so much for so many.  I used to wonder how he was able to be and do all that and not demand more recognition, until I learned his secret.  He doesn't do anything for me or anyone else.  He serves God everyday in every way. Chew on that one for a little bit.

#9- He is the epitome of a "servant-leader." He is self-less, always looking for the needs of others. And he is definitely a leader meaning he has people that follow him. He doesn't make excuses, he fixes it. He leads by example never expecting anything from someone else that he himself wouldn't do or require of himself (there is that integrity thing again). He has never in my experience of him demanded anything of anybody including myself- well, except the kids- They don't know what a treasure of a daddy they have just yet.  They will soon.

#10- He makes me proud.  It feels good to say, "This is my husband." "This is the daddy of my children." I can't imagine being married to someone I had to make excuses for.

This is not to mention that now I can add to list "amazing daddy," but that would require a whole other post. I could also add "will of steel." Maybe next month when the kids nap at the same time again...

I am sure I have forgotten something I will regret later, but you all get the picture.  He is not perfect, no man is, but in every way...  He is just good. So good.

Happy Anniversary B!  I love you more than you know!
I am grateful and blessed to have you!
Kristy Laine

Jesus Paid It All

Today Norah learned about debt.  It started with our usual pretend play- first with me eating my cereal and drinking my coffee at a French cafe' with waitress/princess Norah, then with a quick trip to the grocery store with our new pretend money (I printed it at home).  She has had a fascination with money for quite a while which is wonderful for teaching counting by 10's and 5's, grouping, etc. ...and today "debt."  I don't know why I used the word debt today.  I only remember using it once instead of my usual "bill" or "owe," but it stuck with Norah- as does thousands of little things that I never notice.  She amazes me.

Later in the morning, while I was fixing lunch- yes, right after the snow angel conversation if you watch my facebook- Norah started humming, "Jesus Paid It All."  I didn't think much about it.  Grady Scott had actually been singing it earlier, probably because it has been in the regular bedtime ritual lately. You don't ever know what I am going come up with.  When Norah got to the bridge she started singing, "Oh Praise the One who paid my debt..."   and stopped cold.

"Mama, what's debt?"
"Well, you know just like when you go to the grocery store and pick out the food you want to buy?"
"Yes."
"What happens next?"
"They ring it up and tell you what you owe."
"That is your debt for the groceries.  You have to pay for the groceries."
"What debt did Jesus pay for? Our sins?"
"That's right.  Because we sin, we owe a debt.  Except this debt we cannot pay for with money or anything else. There is no way we could pay for that sin.  Only Jesus could."
"And that is why He had to die on the cross- but He is ALIVE!!"
"You got it babe."
*singing* "Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow."

Now the snow angels make sense.

Thank you God for blessing me with such a sweet, sweet spirit in my house we call Norah Bailey!!! And thank you dying on the cross to pay my debt!!!

Here's a video of the arrangement she was singing if you are as in the mood to have a worship session to music as I am!

Why Homeschool?

Why are we going to homeschool?
God said so.
We really believe this is a calling on our lives- at least for this season.

We want our kids to get the best possible education.
We don’t have a problem with the public school system- especially in the district where we live.  (I will note that we think just like everyone else that we know that it has some serious problems that should addressed, but I think that of just about any big operation.) As a matter of fact ALL, and I said ALL, of the teachers that I personally know- and I know quite a few- not only seem to be good teachers, but genuinely LOVE “their” kids. My husband worked in this district and from what we can tell, the administration is made up of Godly men and women that work well together and are respectful to its staff.
That being said, public school is still public school.  Everything is done for the greater good- as it should be in that setting.  Teachers have to teach to the middle and hope that the ones at the bottom can somehow catch up with extra attention/help from the parents/tutoring and the ones at the top don’t get too bored and disruptive.

Flexibility.
Our “Saturdays” usually end up being our Thursdays just because that is the day Brandon is off.  Our Saturdays are usually full of anything but relaxing or family oriented things.  Also, I currently still do PRN work as a Speech-language Pathologist- this leaves me flexible to continue to do that.

We want to be the ones to “raise” our kids.
We aren’t ready for our 4, soon to be 5 *tear*, year-old to be gone from our house for EIGHT HOURS A DAY. That seems crazy to us.  Sorry if the opposite seems crazy to you.

Nothing really has to change for us.
We have always done everything we can to make our home a “learning environment.” I already stay home pretty much full time.  I know this is a big deal because for most families to make a decision like this, they would have to make HUGE changes in how things run in their households.  I also think this is one of the reasons God had me start staying home in the first place.

Brandon and Grady Scott drawing together on the couch.

These are not our reasons to home school:
Protect our kids from the world.
To me this one is just silly and naive.  It is our hope that our kids experience MORE of the world, but with a their parents as their tour guide.  If we end up continuing this into the teenage years, I see exciting things such as mission projects, service projects, and truly diving deep into their passions- whatever those turn out to be!

Give them a Godly worldview.
I know some of the most awesome teenagers ever that have an amazing worldview that were and are in public schools.  That is our job as parents no matter the setting.  Don’t use, “well, they picked that up from school” as an excuse people! Do your job! I do think that this is easier to do in the home setting, but still requires purposeful action.

We know other people that are doing it.
We do happen to have some close friends that are homeschooling and to be quite honest, some of them have given me things to aspire toward and some have taught me what not to do- some of them both.  This is truly a very personal decision for our family that we have put a lot of thought, prayer, and time into making.


Concerns we have:
“Socialization”
I have some homeschool friends that laugh this one off, but it is a real concern to me and my husband.  I don’t think they will be any more or less “weird” because they were or weren’t home schooled. I know plenty of homeschool teenagers/adults that are just fine and plenty that are a little… unusual, but the thing is, I know plenty of public school teenagers/adults that are just fine and plenty that are a little off as well. I do worry about my kids being happy though.  Depression is real even among the youngest of us.  That is why we are going to make this a priority because we happen to have 2 very social little people, I think. If we see that we just can’t meet what our kids need, we will make some changes- whatever those changes need to be (prayerfully- again, God’s will not ours).

Norah playing in the sprinkler- always a smile!

            Grady Scott- my funny, sweet boy!             

Can I do it?
I was once a very career driven woman and I am very organized and goal oriented.  These are weaknesses and strengths.  My answer to this one:  No.  I truly can’t. I have tried on my own steam and we didn’t even fit “school” into our day for an entire 2 weeks.  Crazy I know, but true.  I am terrible on my own.  That is why I am going to rely on my God to get us through this and hopefully come out “educated” on the other end. Ha!
That said, I am a trained SLP http://www.asha.org/careers/professions/slp/ and so I have an understanding of how learning takes place (especially language) and what external variables affect learning.  I think I am equipped to teach the younger ages now.  I do wonder how I will do if we continue into the teens years as I think that someone who went to school and specifically majored in that subject area would obviously be more qualified to teach that subject than myself.  Which is one reason we will probably enter the public school system when our kids get older.

**DISCLAIMER**
This is not intended to offend anyone or try to persuade anyone in either direction.  We just wanted to put our thoughts together so others could hopefully understand our decision.  Prayers appreciated as we enter this unknown territory- we’ll see how it goes!!

Amory Railroad Festival

This weekend was the Amory Railroad Festival. It is a mostly arts and crafts show with a few rides for the kids, a carnival at the other far end (that we didn't venture to this year), and food vendors galore- our youth have a BBQ place set up every year that is amazing! We actually went for a quick trip Thursday, but got pictures today- and I now have a blog!
Brandon ran in the Railroad Festival 5K this morning with finish time of 33 min.  I was really proud of him- especially since he has not been running lately.  He and a group of guys from church have been meeting at 5:30a.m. (yes, A.M.!) Mon.-Sat. to do "Insanity." He was most proud of the fact that while running, he was still able to sing the melody to "Hail State" to Jay Cowley (a HUGE Ole Miss fan in our church) as he ran by.

I know my kids pretty well.  They very rarely surprise me, but boy, Norah sure did today. One vendor had this huge, very intimidating looking contraption that you had to get harnessed into so that you could jump on an even bigger inflatable. When we walked by she just had to get on- G. Scott wanted to go to, but Momma was just not ready for that for him! I had to ask the owner if she was even big enough to ride.  He said she probably wouldn't weigh enough to really jump, but it would be a really big swing.  That sounded even better to her.  We got harnessed up and went to stand at the bottom of our connection.  The little boy, that was at least 2 years older and way bigger than her, got scared and asked to stop.  I just knew she would back out, but she was almost vibrating with excitement.  She LOVED IT and begged to ride again, but with a long wait time, $7 a pop, and a very jealous little brother, we had to move on this time.

Their favorite was the little orange train we ride every year.

Norah and Daddy dancing to the live music. (Sorry I cut your head off, B)

We got our cute little faces painted.  They both loved this!  Norah was a "Princess Butterfly Fairy."  Grady Scott had to watch big sister get hers done first.

A little nervous...

Admiring themselves in the mirror.

Grady Scott was "Spider-man!" He sang the Spider-man theme song the rest of the night while Norah floated everywhere she went- okay, this is not much different than normal.

This is basically the pose they were in the rest of the night.  Norah being ultra... Norah and G.S. shooting webs.

Had the ride the train with our new identities.

Funnel cake, apple fritters, and good fellowship with friends finished the evening off with style.  Until next year RR Festival!

A Day In The Life

A friend of mine posted a rebuttal on her page a few days ago to a letter in an advice column stating that the writer was tired of her stay-at-home-mom friends never answering her emails and texts. She also stated that it seems that the SAHM just lays around all day. The rebuttal gave a time line of her day and I didn't really think it at all sounded like my day. The writer sounded more like a slave worker than a too-busy-to-answer-your-text-about-pickles mom. So, for fun I thought I would write out what I did the next day I was home alone with the kids all day.  I almost didn't post this because it was actually the easiest, most relaxing day we have had in a while- no joke.  I think it was because we have all been sick and today was the first day we felt well at all.  I thought, "I could just do this another day and no one would ever know the difference," but I just couldn't. That's not living with integrity. So... here's a day in the life:

7:25 Wake up, my husband is in the shower- ugh! He may be completely unaware of my new resolution to get up and in the shower by 7:00 I made 3 days ago (that I may or may not make at least every 2 weeks). I made it when I had to have a show down with the gas man in my pajamas at 11:00 in the morning... if that doesn't humble you, then... well, we are just birds of a different feather. The man IS aware that I asked him to get me up at 7:00.  I may kill him.
Start my 5 minute Psalm devotional.

7:40 Wake up again. Quick, "I'm sorry God for falling asleep on You... again" prayer
Brush teeth
Take sheets off the bed to wash- not part of my normal routine, but we have been sick with a nasty cold/sinus funk for several days. The 4 yr old blew her nose on my sheets 3 days ago and I just now feel well enough to care- gross, but true.

7:50 Head to go get in shower...  Get distracted by laundry- swap out load.  Hear kids.
Crawl in bed with the 4 yr old where she lets me rub her back until she is through, rolls over, gives me a sly look and a quick hug that she uses to slide out of bed with.  I'll take what I can get from that one.
Crawl in bed with 2 yr old- lots of sweet hugs, kisses, and back scratching.  Favorite quotes from this snuggle session: "hey you." "you could scratch *lifts back of shirt*" and "love you best"

8:10 Hubs cooking- he probably feels guilty.
Quick shower- I'm careful not to announce.

8:22 Sit down to breakfast- My husband truly is wonderful.
2 yr old takes 1/2 of my toast and 1/2 my sausage.
Daddy gone to work.
Put on my make-up. I'm on a roll!
Serious discussion with the 4 yr old going on 16 yr old over the use of less vs least.
Show down with boy child over eating stolen cheese toast.
Get out coffee cup- stop potential melt down with the fairy princess over her blanket lovingly named "Ball Animal"- I thought she was angry that it was in the washer.  Apparently "she" was not finished reading her book- shame on me for not asking her first.

9:00 Boy Child spills milk on his very last drink.
Change his clothes and diaper- he finds a book for me to read while I am throwing the clothes in the hamper and diaper in the trash.
Read book and, as if on cue at the conclusion, I hear, "Momma, I'm done" from the bathroom.

Finish cleaning up breakfast.
Brew coffee. While coffee going, the dynamic duo both bring in books to read.  As we sit down, I smell the boy... change diaper.  He then refuses to put on the jeans that he just insisted on wearing... not worth it... new shorts.

9:20 Sit down to read books... they somehow keep multiplying, it's a miracle... coffee smells good.

9:35 Fix coffee while helping 2 yr old get out foam blocks
Glad I hid the Easter candy yesterday- even though I know where it is, I have to dig it out and I am rarely alone for more then 2 min.- not long enough to dig it out and eat it without getting caught.  Yesterday... well, I may need to actually go buy them some more.  I didn't feel good- don't judge me.

9:40 Sit down with now lukewarm coffee- dare the kids to even look at me...
Stare into space thinking nothing. Mindlessly look at Facebook.  *Heaven*

9:49 Enter 2 yr old in princess hat and Cinderella shoes crying over the foam blocks.
Break up fight over foam blocks.  Coffee break officially over.

Grady Scott! (excuse quality- with my phone. Couldn't find the camera all day)

10:00 We are all dressed and ready to head to the library (including putting the jeans back on the 2yr old).  I have my keys, diaper bag with diapers, wipes, change of clothes, and sanitizers of all sorts, phone, purse.... no library books.
Round up library books from all walks of the house... one missing... 10 minute search with no avail... forget it.

10:10 Start putting on shoes and getting in the van to leave.

10:29 Crank van to leave for library.

10:58 Head to park.
There are two older and pleasant boys here this time- much better than last time when I had to make that approx. 12 yr old almost cry for nearly knocking my baby off the slide.  I didn't think the going-on 16 yr old was paying attention until she later told another little girl that she "better be careful riding the tire swing with me.  If you hurt me, my momma will me MAD."
Good "lessons" with the 2 yr old about opposites and the word direction and with the 4 yr old on the month of April, the word intentions, and the seasons. I am a champion homeschool mom.

Tire swing! Sweet sister and brother.

11:30 Start to leave park after only 3 falls, approx. 12 ant bites, and no less than 6 heart attacks- those are mine.

11:42 Leave park.

11:45 Get home, wash hands, make a centerpiece for the dining table with our flowers from the park, turn on "Blue's Clues"
Start lunch.
Go to swap out laundry- blankets not dry, restart, ugh.
Realize show kids are watching is about time- regret not noticing this earlier because now I am going to have a million questions from the 4 yr old.  Think about how a good homeschool mom wouldn't think that way. I stink at this.  No time to worry about it... pork chops are burning.

Clean up foam blocks- regret not taking a picture of the city that was built in my kitchen.
2 yr old comes in- he's hot. Go to change back into shorts- he runs off in his diaper- whatever.
Unload dishwasher
*I read an article once in one of those parenting magazines designed to make us all feel like failures that said never use TV as a babysitter.  Those people obviously never had children.

12:05 Husband home for lunch- get to hear some of my favorite sounds: kids giggling, him laughing, him reading books to them, and him having to answer a few of the 9,200 2- and 4-year-old questions I get everyday. Sweet. I love him!
Get a chance to text a friend back from an hour & 1/2 ago.

12:25 Sit down to eat lunch
Remember sheets that need to be dry for "rest time"- get up and swap out laundry
Eat
Put sheets on kid's beds while hubs plays with kids.  I hate him.

1:00 Daddy heads back to work- tears by many.  Time to get ready for "Rest Time"
In case you have never done this, it is truly a marathon event.  You have to be combination drill sergeant, nurturer, clown, counselor, magician, and sandman.  I personally think it should be considered an art.

1:30 Kids in bed- 4 yr old in panties and socks, 2 yr old fully dressed (in jeans)- I'll take what I can get. *note to self to uncover hot natured boy child later.
I am exhausted.
During my 3 verses of "Amazing Grace" I have issued 3 warnings for spankings.  I feel like such a hypocrite. I lay down on the rug between their beds and consider crying or going to sleep. The boy child leans over his rail and says, "You not feel good mommy?" and offers me his beloved blanket.  I kiss him on the forehead and tuck him back in bed where he falls asleep almost immediately.
I say a long, sincere prayer of thanksgiving and shut the door behind me feeling refreshed and smiling.

1:45 I round the corner where 3 loads of laundry to be folded and the lunch mess awaits. *sigh*
I answer another text that has been waiting an hour.
Start another load of laundry and rinse the lunch dishes.

1:55 My precious quiet time with my God.

2:34 Check Facebook and read something funny the hubs wrote.  I love him.
Talk myself out of digging out the candy.

2:38 Check on Norah- she gets up if she is still awake. SHE'S ASLEEP! It's a miracle! I tear up a little.
Put sheets on our bed.
Swap our laundry- has the man's stinky workout clothes in it. He is so gross.
Finish cleaning up the table and kitchen from lunch.  Load dishwasher.  It is almost full- I hate that!
Fold the laundry.
Wipe down bathrooms.
Quick straighten up of rest of the house... I have 15 minutes!!! Yea!
Work on my blog site- realize I have no idea what I am doing.  The hubs is good at that sort of thing- one reason I love him so much- will do when he gets home.

 3:30 Wake up kiddos- they are in especially good moods.  We all end up in the princess's bed- lots of laughs, hugs, and kisses.

4:00 Watch "Jack Jack Attack" and "Boundin'" (4 min shorts with the movie they got for Easter, "The Incredibles") for the MILLIONTH time since Sunday.  Yea! *sarcasm*
Snack

4:20 Only 40 more minutes... you. can. do. this.
Start getting ready to go outside.

4:57 Actually walk out the door to go play.

5:25 Daddy is home- crash in the hammock- life is good.

Norah!